FLAT BEAT OF MINDSCAPE
She was eying the backpacks at her feet, curiously, not really realizing that they were hers. Well, Rickert had told her they were hers, as well as the guns, and all the items inside, but it simply… looked irreal. This knowledge didn’t ring any bell… it didn’t feel like it was hers, plain and simple.
“…Mine?…” she asked to the young man, and he smiled, a little too cheerfully, nodding.
“Sure. Master Elm says he found them in the plane with ya. Must surely be yours then. That’s logics. I mean, unless ya have st…”
‘Rickert”, Elm interrupted before he could say more, and most of all say something he shouldn’t have. “Let her look at them, is all. Understood?”
“Yeah, yeah, Master”, he grumbled on a sulking tone, then shrugged, handing her the first bag.
She hesitantly took it, looked at it again, for long minutes of silence, while both men were going back to their own business, still looking at her from the corner of an eye, awaiting her reactions. All of this seemed so distant to her, even if she could understand why they were doing this, in the hope that something, anything in these bags would help her in remembering a little. They had already checked for an ID card, although they had found none, and their own ID scanner hadn’t given any useful information, only labelling her as <subject not classified in database>, which had made Elm look even more careful and concerned. He had reassured her a little, telling her that this wasn’t necessarily meaning anything, that they hadn’t access to all the citizens’ database from where they were, in the cave, and especially when an ion storm was still raging outside, for two more days now… yet she had understood the understatement hidden behind these words. That she may not have any insurance left. Or that her true identity was classified enough for him not to be able to read it. In both cases, it didn’t help in making her feel more at ease, nor the two Engineers, and for this reason, they were trying something else, while waiting for a better opportunity to reach for a town or an outpost.
She rummaged through the bag, pulling out a few medpacks marked with the Omni-Med symbol–nothing really new, such packs being regularly smuggled into every part of the world–and some other tools, recognizing them for what they were, yet still not understanding why she owned them. What the hell was she supposed to do with a lockpick… and a set of bullets with an odd, faint smell of chemicals, certainly not adapted to the bulky guns they had found in the plane as well… a few empty instruction discs, seemingly awaiting someone to copy programs on them… carbonrich rocks, the kind of which used to craft nano-crystals…
“Too bad it ain’t a personal lockpick…” Rickert sighed, half-turning to her. “Would have your name on it, sure…”
“Rickert. I told you to go back to work, boy.”
The apprentice shrugged, but kept silent again, and she dismissed the mention of this ‘personal’ instrument. Too bad, indeed. There were no other items left in the bag, and thus she took the second one, pulling out a few clothes. Women clothes… a pair of blue pants, black shirts, the kind of which would certainly fit very closely to her thin body, black boots too, and what looked like an Oriental-styled blue dress, long and silky, though having certainly known better days, after having stayed stuffed in the pack for so long.
“Wow. I know this kind of clothing!” Rickert said again, before Elm could snap him shut. “Eddie sells them blue pants in Last Ditch. Guess it’s even the only place where ya can find them…”
“Mine…” she frowned again. The clothes of a stranger… and nothing more. She slightly shook the head, careful however not to make any brutal move. “I’m sorry, Elm… I… I dun’t remember. Looks like… ya sure they’re mine?”
“Well try them, ya’ll see if they fit or not”, Rickert chuckled with a mischievous smile that made him look even more boyish, and attracted him a stern scowl from his master. In fact, the comment made her smile, for in a way, he was right, and she was now doing well enough to feel the need to get dressed and take a walk, even if the weather wasn’t allowing it for the moment.
“Not a bad idea”, she answered, attracting a slightly surprised look from the old Engineer. Elm simply cleared his throat, and put a hand on Rickert’s head, forcing him to look elsewhere–elsewhere, anywhere, but not at her.
“Ah”, he said, before letting out a slight cough. “Your trenchcoat and armor are there, in the pack between these two seats. They were what you were… wearing when we found you.”
“Thank you… Elm…” she whispered with a shy little smile again. Armor. Why would have she been wearing armor… and under a coat? Usually, when in armor, one was expected to wear the whole set, not to hide it under civilian clothing… unless one had something to hide, or a need not to appear ready for fighting… So, why? Why her?…
She decided on the blue pants and one of the black, sleeveless shirts, one that let appear the tatoos circling around her arms. These also were weird, dark lines intertwining with each other on her pale skin, without any other meaning or aim than to look… pretty, she figured out. Well, they were nice, though she really didn’t know why, when or where she had them done. Then, she looked at herself, at her reflection in the darkened window near which she was sitting. At the two white locks striking her dark-brown hair. At her so pale face, still marked by tiredness, the almost black rings under her eyes making her appear even more fragile. Her smile slowly froze, then disappeared; even her own face was the one of a stranger… even her own features were distant… dulled… unknown. And she wondered. What if she was in fact someone… terrible? A criminal, a killer, whatever - a person with blood on her hands, a person who would have caused horrible things to happen…
Maybe not remembering at all would be better…
“Wow… Suits ya well!” Rickert exclaimed from behind her back, bringing the smile back a little. Suiting her well… yes, she had to admit it, the clothes seemed exactly cut for her. They had to be hers, indeed, yet something was missing. She slightly frowned, thinking that combing her hair a little might make her look better as well, and looked for a hairbrush in the backpack too.
Her hand suddenly touched something else inside, something cold, something shaped in a circular form. When she got her hand out of the pack, she was holding a golden bracer, ornated with rusty-colored spirals and intricated lines… symbols of the desert, of the sky, of the wind… symbols of her past, also. She kept looking at the bracer for a long, long moment, barely hearing Elm whispering something about a “Bracelet of Ka”, and how one could still find some, in the desert or in the ruins of towns abandoned by ancient settlers for decades now. Something was on her mind… the shadow of a man, a strong one, handing her the bracer… the echo his voice, of his thick accent, too… kind words meant for her only… She frowned, frowned, trying to remember more, to keep grasp of his presence, of what he was saying… “Ah thought it’d suit ya well…”…
… and the shadow flew away, and the memory was gone.
“…What’s happening?…” Elm asked, his comforting hands on her shoulders once again, and she turned to him, giving a slight start.
“…Uhm. Nothing… I dunno… I think…”
“Then why are you crying?…”
She looked at him in confusion, raising a hand to her face, distraitly wiping the sudden tears from her cheeks.
He had been right. She was crying.
But now, she couldn’t remember why…
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