At this point in Jen’s history (see the timeline), the only internet access I had was at work. This started as my own little, OCC explanation about why Jen was gone for more than two weeks–I would write it at home, then post from the office when I could take a break. Other players such as Sezmra or Eternalrebel then added their own input to it, but for the time being, I’m going to keep this text classified under ’stories’ rather than ‘RP events’, since only the last part was actually played in game. Also, don’t fret out upon seeing the amount of pages available. I’ve basically made it so that 1 post = 1 page, and some of these posts really aren’t that long.
THE LINES ARE DRAWN IN THE SAND ACROSS THE CARESS OF TIME…
There’s a face in the glass
Looking through the mirror
At the maze of my past
It was never clearer
On the distant horizon
The storm approaches
Better cover my eyes
Better…
- Styx -
Sora. Akai sora…
The sky… the red sky - all around - all above. Looking at the sky. Listening to its silent song.
I am the sky. I am the immensity above. I spread my phantom wings, and soar on the wind, and listen to the sky passing in me, through me. Brilliant colors, all around. Sounds never heard before. A voice in me, in my head, in my heart. I feel like singing. Like flying. Like escaping in the neverending space.
I feel like I should remember something, but I am unable to.
Who am I? What do I want? Why am I here? Why do I feel so free, free like I’ve never been, free from every form of physical constraint? The sky should be blue, blue like this glittering place which I love so much, but which name I cannot remember… Why is it red? Why is it so appealing, yet so threatening at the same time?…
Suna. Kooru suna…
The sand is cold. As cold as death. The cold sand - all around - all above, and under. I’m hearing the sand. Its song is one of danger and murder, of a screaming and dying land, and I cannot forget it. Fading colors. A reddish haze before my eyes. I am the sand. I am the wind. And I fly. And I fly. And I fly.
I feel like I’m missing something. Something important. Getting out. But why this… am I not already ‘outside’? The song is sad now, as sad as this cold ball of rock, sand and dust. Sand is everywhere here, even in the heart of the cities. Sand will become sand again. And I cannot escape its voice.
This world is odd. But it is my world now.
Are wa yume… soretomo maboroshi?…
Is it a dream… or an illusion? I can only remember love, and solitude, and sadness. I am not as free as I thought. I am not exactly myself now. They did something to me, and I don’t know what it is, and I fear, for I know that what they did is dangerous. Danger. The meaning of ‘danger’. What is ‘danger’. Is this place ‘dangerous’? Is it ‘dangerous’ for me only, or for other people as well?
People. The crowd. The heart of the world. I am not of the sand. I am of the crowd. I must not forget it. This is not sand - this is… only myself. Drifting like my thoughts. Drifting like… carried by the wind.
Hitotsume no kotoba wa ‘yume’…
The first word is ‘dream’. The second word is ‘wind’. The third word… the third word, what is it? Is it ‘life’? Is it ‘death’? Is it ‘memory’, or ‘loneliness’, maybe?
Futatsume no kotoba wa ‘kaze’…
If I can’t find the third word back, I’ll never be able to really wake up. I will go on staring at the dreams. Forever. Yumemiru. To look at a dream. To read a dream. An old word, a word from my past.
And I fall. And I fall. And I fall…
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